Thursday, December 06, 2007

I didn't get the girl !

I’m preparing a long article for Christmas (not purposedly, though), so in the meantime I’ll try to entertain you with a short story :

A long long time ago, I was eighteen and enjoying the electric guitardom. I was a big fan of all the guitar players of the 90’s (Satriani, Vai, Malmsteen, Vinnie Moore, etc.) and, let’s admit it, playing those guys’ stuff was fun as hell. Every time there was a party and a guitar, I would play, jam, entertain people with lightning-fast soli. Not to show off, though, I enjoyed playing the guitar, that’s all. One night, there was a HUGE party at a friend’s place and half of my high-school was there. OK, maybe a quarter. There were obviously other guitar players, at least one, and there was this girl that was as dumb as a cow but hot as hell. I can’t remember her name, but I clearly remember that most of the guys had their eyes on her. There were several rooms in the appartment : the main room, where people would listen to very loud music, dance and eat (and drink themselves to death, of course), my friend’s room, where some guys would play Mario Kart on the SNES, and the parent’s room where we were, 2 friends of mine, another guitar player, and the girl. Since the other guitar player and me were showing each other some licks, the girl started to say that it must be cool to play the guitar and that she’d like to learn it...
Sounds like an opening, right ? Well, I have to be completely honest with you and tell you straight that even on a deserted island she wouldn’t have humped me. Hummm, maybe she would have because she was kind of slutty, but not in normal conditions and I knew it already, so it’s not like I just should have said something like “see those fingers flying on the fretboard, how about you let them fly on your G-spot ?”. Not at all. But at least it would have been some kind of special relationship if I could have taught her some guitar and make everybody else jealous. Remember I was 18.

Now you see, there are 2 kinds of guitar players : the technical player and the song player. I could play Malmsteen stuff, but without a backing track it didn’t sound that good, you know (try it someday : entertain people with “Far Beyond the Sun” with only your guitar…). So if I was to teach you the guitar, it would probably be something like “OK, here is a warm-up exercise, put your fingers that way, try to keep the rythm even, etc.”. And the other guy, he was more of a song player and he shew her Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall”. If you don’t know that song, let’s make it simple : it’s a ONE-CHORD SONG. You just strum one chord et voilà : you’re playing a real song ! It didn’t take you much time, it didn’t take you a tremendous memorizing effort, nor fingers synchronization, you know how to enjoy the guitar 5 minutes after you’ve picked up the instrument.

Guess who she chose for a teacher.

Gilmour : 1 - Malmsteen : 0


Blogger Fashnista said...

Hey Malmsteen fan, you should check out Alex Masi. In fact, Masi teamed up with two guys, Randy Coven and John Macaluso who have played with Malmsteen.
You won't be sorry. Masi plays instrumental cosmic improvisational stuff and his current cd, Late Nights at Deserts Rimrock and the MCM rock out. And Masi got the girl! :-)

4:33 AM  
Blogger taradostodos said...

Once I saw this guy at college that was always carrying a guitar case, surrounded by girls.

I was in the same class as him so one day I asked him about his guitar and what he liked to play.

To my surprise he could barely play a C chord and by no means a barre chord.

He sucked big time but got the girls.

10:20 AM  

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